Forward with Faith: Gay and Mormon
“(Gay) Mormon Guy” (GMG) shares regular reflections on his blog about being an active Mormon who is gay. Gay Mormon Guy shows that while it is difficult to have same-sex attraction and remain faithful to gospel covenants and commandments, it is possible. His posts are honest, sometimes even raw, but you will be able to see that he is moving forward with faith in a remarkable way. He has faith in the gospel and in the purpose of commandments like the law of chastity. He listens to the prophets and apostles for guidance, inspiration, and counsel. And he applies their teachings — God’s teachings — in his life.
The Lord is willing to carry my burden. I just need to allow Him to carry my load – to give Him permission to help me be happy even if He doesn’t take away my trials. Am I willing to allow Him more fully into my life?
Sometimes I see men who have decided that, because the mountain of living a faithful life while being attracted to guys looks too hard, they won’t take the first step. Or they lose hope and give up halfway when they look forward and see so far to go. The Lord doesn’t ask us to conquer the mountain in a day. He just asks us to move forward, and have faith in Him, for today. And then tomorrow, He will give us the strength to overcome whatever faces us on the morrow. I have a hard time being an existentialist, but Elder Christofferson’s was essentially teaching the importance of living in the moment – enjoying life and facing the trials of today, today. And then facing tomorrow, tomorrow.
One of the greatest concerns men have that talk with me is this: I don’t know how I can stay true for my entire life. How can I resist temptation for that long, especially if I don’t get married and face life without a family or a spouse? Even if I try to do what is right, I will always feel like an outcast in the Church since it focuses so heavily on families. How can I do it?
The answer is that, today, I don’t have to do it all. I just need to live and work through today. Tomorrow, God will give me the strength tomorrow. But yes, I do not have the strength to face a lifetime of trials today. No one does. Thankfully, God does not ask me to build the walls of Jerusalem in a day, or to change our very being in a moment. The conversion He asks for, while usually dramatic and always life-changing, normally takes place day by day as I live out my life in His service. … And He promises to give me the strength to live each day, and then to give me strength for tomorrow, tomorrow. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof. – From the post One Today at a Time
We are grateful for the faith of people like Gay Mormon Guy, who also are willing to honestly share their journey of faith.
Find a few more snippets of recent posts below.
Here on (Gay) Mormon Guy I can share my testimony, and hope that the Spirit will carry my words to the far reaches of the world and light a flame to last for eternity. People from Thailand and India, Africa and Saudi Arabia, Korea, China, and almost every country in between have found the message here… and I am amazed by the stories they send. From the post Let His Light So Shine
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[P]art of me wants to label…[everyone] who doesn’t understand, as callous and unkind, insensitive and rude… But I can’t.
I think that’s a big difference in the way I perceive others and the way many in the gay community do. When pain strikes, it’s easy to label those who don’t understand or agree as bigots, hateful, spiteful, unChristian, homophobic… and in applying those labels I would apply the negative emotions, hatred and spite and insensitivity, as answer to the same. By labeling the people who have hurt me, it makes them less worthwhile, effectively making the pain subside, since those inflicting it are less human… and less worth my interest.
But I can’t do that. Just as firmly as I know that I am a son of God, and that He loves me, I know that God loves all His children – including those who have hurt me, purposefully, beyond their own understanding. They aren’t monsters, or hateful demons, or bigots, or spiteful, or homophobic. They are sons and daughters of God… and when I follow God, I feel His love for them. I can’t curse or hate or think less of a son of God. – From the post Bigoted, Hateful, and Homophobic
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The attractions (and lack thereof for women), in my case, are still here. The urges and temptations still strike me. The feelings of absolute and total isolation and depression still hit like a ton of bricks, tossing aside my plans and dreams like chaff in a flood. But as I have turned to God and truly had faith in Him, my strength to weather my trials has increased. I can better understand the attractions, fight the temptations, and live through the depression and isolation because I, like the prophets of old, have hope that my life, and the world, can get better, tomorrow.
“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world…” (Ether 12:4).
From the post “It Gets Better”
(Be sure to read the comments on that post, where Gay Mormon Guy expresses more of his thoughts and feelings about personal revelation and about what this trial of facing same-sex attraction has taught him:
It does take a lot of work to find meaning with this trial in life – inside or outside the Church. But I think that was part of the Plan… As I’ve worked harder than I ever thought possible, I’ve grown closer to God and seen His hand in my life. This trial has increased my testimony more than anything else in my life, given me greater strength, and helped me to feel loved of God. It’s definitely still rough. I wonder every day what I should be doing more. But it’s worth it… Because as the days go on, it gets better.
Here’s another thoughtful comment he left:
I know that there are many good men and women who, like me, live out their lives and meet their struggles in the light of the gospel. I just don’t have time to find them or share their stories. And, since I’m not an authority on any subject but my own life, I don’t endorse following their “teachings,” just as I try to share my experience instead of telling others what theirs should be. The prophets exhort. Bishops counsel. Parents and home teachers encourage. But I’m just a random Mormon guy writing a blog; the only thing I can do is tell my story and live my life with faith… and pray that the Spirit will teach people according to their needs.
Thank you, Gay Mormon Guy, for your example of faith and obedience.