Motherhood Matters: Day 3 – Smashing the Identity Crisis
Alas, we are a day behind…. Oh, well. Maybe we’ll catch up. (Or maybe we won’t…we’ll see!)
Day 3: Today’s challenge:
Practice answering the question “What do you do?” so you can confidently say “I am a mother.”
This is something that I have struggled with over the years, particularly when people find out I have an MBA. I have done some volunteer work that has given me opportunities to associate with others in the business world, but I do not have any job title to use when people ask this question. Sometimes I’ve felt uncomfortable in such situations. But I have become better about responding with “I’m a mom” with confidence. When I mentor young women in high school and college about their life planning, I also encourage them to be proud of their desire to be a mother, regardless of whether that desire is a current reality or possibility. I don’t think we do enough to celebrate motherhood in the work-a-day world. I like how this community effort is encouraging women to own their role as mothers.
There were some gems in the discussion on today’s topic, including some great advice on how to avoid identity crises when raising one’s own children. Those of us in the throws of motherhood can a lot from the generations before us:
Our mothers and grandmothers got it right. Today, we live in the “me” generation. We are more concerned with asking questions such as: What about me?What about my life, my fulfillment? rather than being concerned about the welfare of others. A truly happy person does not pursue happiness. Rather, happiness is a by-product of their service to others. In the process, you end up finding your best self, because there is more of you to find.
I think if we think less in terms of personal fulfillment and more in terms of service and the significance of motherhod, we will be more prepared to also be wise about how and when to do things that allow us to also be individuals along the way, which they also addressed in this segment.
As a side note, how to balance family needs with personal needs is a topic being discussed in posts this week at Empowering LDS Women (if you aren’t LDS, I think you will still enjoy these posts, including one from a mainstream Christian mom which I think is a must read):
Finding Balance in Motherhood: Heather Shares Three Lessons That Helped Her Learn To Find Happiness At Home
Speaking of balance, I heard an insightful comment recently that the idea of balance is actually a bit of a myth (even though I think it’s a good word to use because it’s familiar). The idea was that ultimately, we have to decide what matters most and then live accordingly. That has stuck with me.
Video for day 3: