Q: Do all Mormons home school?

A:  No. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is an international church with members living all over the world and we typically follow the educational norms for our region whether that be public or private, home or boarding schools. A small portion of our members home school when they feel that they can provide a better educational environment at home, others happily send their kids to public school, still others send their children to private school. On occasion members will attend religious private schools provided by other religions – particularly in other countries where public schooling is not offered.

I send my kids to public school. We’ve had a good experience so far. But I am worried about middle school. I would not be opposed to pulling my kids out of school if they fell into the wrong friend group or if I felt they were being bullied by peers or mistreated by the adults at the school. I like having the option of home school and have sufficient education and formal teaching experience to educate my children at home. For now however, I like the education public school provides and my kids are happy.

Here they are on the first day of school this year. My older daughter wanted her hair in curlers for the occasion so she’s rockin’ some great goldie locks!

Have you had a chance to look at the new mormon.org? Besides the many profiles of Mormons you can browse (including photos), or pages about Mormon values and Mormon beliefs, you can find responses from Mormons on frequently asked questions about Mormonism.

Obviously, our website focuses heavily on the lives of Mormon women, so today we wanted to point you to mormon.org’s FAQ about Mormon women. Find answers about the Relief Society, about roles of men and women in marriage, and about  what Mormon women do in the Mormon Church. You will also find responses in that section about why Mormon women don’t hold the priesthood — and why most of us really are okay with that. There’s much more to God’s plan than who holds what position in the Church structure. In fact, concern about or glory in or seeking for position is antithetical to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Following are some simple examples of responses you will find.

Barbara Ann, Larisa, Hillarie, and many other women and men share their thoughts on the topic of the Relief Society.

Allexis Rae, Lynelle,  Jerry and others share thoughts on the role of husbands and wives in marriage.

Melissa, Jennifer Anne, Linda, and many others respond to the question about why Mormon women don’t have the priesthood — and how Mormon women do lead in the Church.

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You can read answers to other questions people sometimes ask in our Ask a Mormon Woman feature here at our website. And, if you would like to ask a Mormon woman a question directly, feel free to email us at gmail, with the username ‘mormonwoman’ or simply leave a comment at our Submit a Question page.

I am going to respond to this question based on my personal experience, contrasting some of my work experience in the “real world” to the experiences I’ve had as a woman in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

After graduating with a degree in Finance, I immediately found a job as a bonds broker at a prominent bank. We specialized in municipal, commercial, and treasury bonds. I had a three-month training period where I studied for and passed several certification exams. During this training period I was to listen in on the calls senior-level brokers were making to hear how they sold bonds as well as how they established personal relationships with their clients.

While working at this firm, I was frequently propositioned for sex by one of my co-workers. The calls that I listened in on were riddled with foul and obscene language. When I complained to my boss and my co-workers about the working environment I heard responses like “That is just how this business is” or “Grow up.”

Having more experience, I know now that there was ample cause for a sexual harassment suit against the firm. But at the time, I was shocked into silence because one of the other two women that worked on my floor was the main perpetrator of sexually explicit and degrading conversations in the workplace.

After completing my training, I began cold calling fund managers. I was elated when I made my first contact and potential sale. Word traveled fast around the trading desk and within minutes, I had a man whose nickname was “The Bear” at my desk. He screamed at me until his face turned red, telling me that “That was his client and how dare I poach such a lucrative account.” I assured him that the client I spoke to had no current ties to our firm and had now idea who he was, but to no avail. I was on “The Bear’s” turf and I had better back off.

I quit the next day.

Months later, I found my way into teaching and have had pleasant working experiences since, but my first real job was an eye-opener as to how women can be treated.

Compare my work experience to one I had while serving within our Church. When I was 27 years old I was called to be a Young Women President in my congregation after serving as a counselor in the Young Women Presidency for one year. In that calling as president, I was leading a board of seven other women and was responsible for part of the spiritual education of teenagers. We planned weekly activities for and monitored the progress of 35 young women ages 12- 18. I had monthly meetings with my board, as well as with other Stake Young Women leaders (also women). We held meetings with the girls every Sunday and had fun midweek activities. Sometimes there were larger events like dances, girls’ camp, and youth conferences to plan and execute. I was expected to be capable, nurturing, and responsible. I was treated as an equal by my peers and by my leaders. The message I continually heard from my male leaders, such as my Bishop and Stake leadership was, “How can we help?” I was never micro-managed, I never felt like an underling, I never felt anything but appreciated.

I never heard foul or degrading language at church. My ideas were always listened to, and I sat in monthly council meetings with other ward leaders and gave my opinion on larger ward issues. The young women were often called upon to aid in larger ward issues through service projects. We felt valued, influential, and responsible.

Since we have a lay clergy, as is the case with any local calling in our church, I was eventually released from my calling as Young Women President, and the burdens and blessings of responsibility passed to another woman in my ward. (Hooray!) But I have had great experiences in every capacity of service within the Church.

My favorite duty or calling is Sunday School teacher. Both men and women are instructors in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I can’t imagine a calling with more influence than teacher. Right now, I teach Sunday School to a dozen youth ages 13 and 14. It is the highlight of my week. Studying the scriptures together we get to dive into what I call the “meat and potatoes” of the gospel. We talk about faith, prayer, and Jesus Christ. We take the scriptures and relate them to our personal lives. I never leave my class without a huge smile on my face. Nothing is more rewarding to me than gospel teaching.

In my church experiences, I have encountered a handful of people (male and female) along the way, who of their own accord have acted chauvinistic, misogynistic or have abused power to the detriment of the souls of those around them. Tragedies do happen within the Church, but I can see that the actions of these handful of people were not rooted in the doctrines of the Church.

Here are some quotes that articulate our Church’s perspective on women.

Two are usually better than one, 1 as our Father confirmed when He declared that “it was not good that the man should be alone” 2 and made a help meet for Adam—someone with distinct gifts who would give him balance, help him shoulder the burdens of mortality, and enable him to do things he couldn’t do alone. For “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” 3

Satan understands the power of men and women united in righteousness. He is still stinging from his banishment into eternal exile after Michael led the hosts of heaven, comprised of valiant men and women united in the cause of Christ, against him. In the chilling words of Peter, “The devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 4 Lucifer is determined to devour marriages and families, because their demise threatens the salvation of all involved and the vitality of the Lord’s kingdom itself. Thus, Satan seeks to confuse us about our stewardships and distinctive natures as men and women. He bombards us with bizarre messages about gender, marriage, family, and all male-female relationships. He would have us believe men and women are so alike that our unique gifts are not necessary, or so different we can never hope to understand each other. Neither is true.

Our Father knew exactly what He was doing when He created us. He made us enough alike to love each other, but enough different that we would need to unite our strengths and stewardships to create a whole. Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family, no ward or stake is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths.

~Sheri Dew

Last year, we asked how Mormon women celebrate Pioneer Day. We compiled answers from several women, which can be found below. We invite other Mormon women (and men!) to share how they celebrate the holiday in the comments section.

Janelle:

We sometimes will have a Family Home Evening lesson about the Pioneers and how their sacrifices have blessed our family.

Last year, I had two Sister Missionaries over for dinner who were both from Tonga. I was interested in how or if they celebrated Pioneer day in their wards and stakes in Tonga. I was very surprised when they said, “Oh yes! We dress up in pioneer clothing, clog and dance, play music and remind ourselves what a blessing it was that the missionaries were sent to Tonga.”

I’d like to see pictures of those ward and stake parties!

Michelle:

We don’t have any particular traditions, except we usually celebrate with some simple fireworks, often with neighbors. We also try to have a lesson about the pioneers, and/or our own ancestors (every family has stories to tell!).

My most memorable Pioneer Day was after doing a 2-day, 25-mile trek when I lived on the East coast. It was so hard, but so rewarding, and helped me ponder more about how hard it must have been to trek across the barren West, often with little more than the faith that burned in their hearts.

There were some beautiful pieces of art in the international art competition display last year that touched me…that expressed how the celebration of the pioneers really isn’t just for those who live in Utah, or for those who have ancestors who were early members of the Mormon Church. The pioneers really can be an inspiration to anyone who is facing their own wildernesses in their lives. I love studying their stories and learning from their examples.

Makakona:

My husband is of good ol’ pioneer stock [his ancestors were Mormons, too, for generations back] and i am a convert. We discuss both types of pioneers with our kids.

We’re not great about any traditions, though. We just attend whatever the stake [a group of local ward congregations] puts on for us and we dress up. I’ve been piecing pioneer dress-up costumes together for my girls bit by bit each year. They’re excited to now have skirts to go with their bonnets and aprons!

Tiffany:

At my house, we only eat homemade food that day and go the whole day without using electricity (except the air conditioner which my DH won’t allow to be turned off). It can be a challenge but it’s fun.

We regularly review the kinds of questions people are asking when they find our site. I thought it might be helpful to just respond simply to several of them. A wide variety of topics is covered below. Questions are in bold.

Q: Do Mormons believe Jesus is God? Do Mormons believe Jesus died for our sins?

A: We believe in a Godhead of three distinct personages. God the Father is the Father of our spirits, and author of the plan of salvation. Jesus Christ is the God of the Old Testament (Jehovah) and the Savior of the World (as recorded in the New Testament and in the Book of Mormon), but is not the same Person as God the Father. The Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit.

And yes, we do believe that Jesus died for our sins. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a central doctrine of our faith. The Savior is the author and finisher of our faith and the

Q: Do Mormons attend the Church of the Latter-day Saints?

A: The term “Mormon” is a nickname for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sometimes people also refer to us as the Latter-day Saints (although we prefer the full name of the Church because it reflects our central belief in the Savior, Jesus Christ).

Q: Do Mormon families reunite in heaven?

A: A core doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that, because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, family relationships can continue beyond the grave. This is made possible through sacred ordinances performed in temples — the house of the Lord — that bind families together through the priesthood power of God. These blessings are not automatic; they are available through faith and obedience to God’s commandments.

We believe this blessing of forever families is something that can be available to all of Heavenly Father’s children. Mormons perform temple ordinances on behalf of those who have passed on and did not have the opportunity to receive these ordinances in their lifetimes. We then believe that people will have the opportunity to choose whether or not to accept them.

So the answer is that we believe that families can reunite after this life, but that this blessing is not just available to those who are currently members of the Church.

Q: Do Mormon women carry their book of scriptures with them when they go to the meetings?

A: Yes, we do. All Church members who have been baptized are encouraged to have their own set of scriptures, which for us includes the Holy Bible (Old and New Testaments), the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.

Q: Do Mormon women want big families?

A: Some do, some don’t.

While, as Sister Julie B. Beck said in a talk a couple of years ago, “We believe in having children,” couples are left to ponder the doctrine of eternal families and the importance of parenthood in God’s plan and prayerfully make decisions about family size. (This relates to questions about Mormons and birth control, which we will cover more thoroughly in a future Ask a Mormon Woman post).

Q: Do Mormon women wear make-up?

A: Some do, some don’t.

Q: Do Mormons believe in alien beings/extraterrestrials?

A: We recently addressed this question in the post “Do Mormons believe in aliens? but since it is one that has come up in different forms, I wanted to address it again here.

The quick answer is that we believe that God has created other worlds, populated with His children. We also believe in angels, who played a significant role in both the ancient and modern work of God. But we also believe that “there are no angels who minister to this earth but those who do belong or have belonged to it.”
- Doctrine and Covenants 130:5

We also do not believe God the Father or Jesus are aliens, which is another form of this kind of question we have had people asking. They are glorified Beings of flesh and bone. We worship them as our Father and Savior, respectively. That they are separate Beings with glorified bodies is a key truth that was restored through the prophet Joseph Smith, made known when he himself saw God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

Q: Do Mormons dance or drink alcohol?

We sometimes do dance. In fact, local Church congregations (or a group of congregations) provide regular dances for youth ages 14 and up, and for single adults as well.

But we do not drink alcohol. (Or at least that is the standard we are invited to adhere to, a standard necessary for baptism and temple attendance). You can learn more about our health code, called the Word of Wisdom, in this post or in this New Year’s post which shares some ways we “party” without alcohol.

Speaking of parties, here’s the last question for today:

Q: Do Mormons celebrate birthdays?

A: Oh, yes! Sometimes in fun and crazy ways. See Janelle’s post on her 30th birthday party as an example.

I also attended a ward that would celebrate birthdays as a ward, with a ward [congregation] activity called the “Everyone Birthday Party.” Every month had a theme, and people dressed up and had a ball. We ended with a food fight.

Yes, we have fun with birthdays.

Related to this is a question about whether Mormons have birthday parties on Sundays. That ends up being a personal decision…another “Some do, some don’t” situation. I think it’s safe to say that family gatherings are more common on Sundays than friend or neighborhood birthday parties.

Do you have a question you would like to ask? Simply leave a comment below or email us. Our username is ‘mormonwoman’ and we are found at gmail.

We’ll address more questions like this in a week or two.

To some, it may seem impossible to believe — a 14-year-old boy sees God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, who calls him to the work of restoring the Savior’s ancient church. An angel appears to the 17-year-old Joseph and shows him gold plates, which plates Joseph receives four years later, and then translates from a lost language into English in a matter of months.

The resulting book (The Book of Mormon), first published in 1830, contains the writings of ancient prophets who lived on the American continent, spanning over 1,000 years of time. A pinnacle part of the book captures the visit of the resurrected Savior not long after His death, resurrection, and ascension into heaven.

We believe Joseph Smith was a prophet like those in the Bible: Abraham, Moses, Joshua, and many others. We believe He was given priesthood power directly from those who held the keys of this priesthood in the Savior’s day (from John the Baptist and from Peter, James, and John). We believe in additional scriptures and continuing revelation, and in a living prophet today.

All of our beliefs really hinge on whether Joseph Smith was a prophet.

So, how can one really come to know if this is really truth?

Many will attempt to “prove” through facts that Joseph Smith wasn’t really a prophet, and that his claims of visions and revelations are silly fabrications of an uneducated mind.

On the flip side, I or many others could try to convince you, using logic of some sort, that we know that Joseph was a prophet.

But the answer to the question does not ultimately lie in logic alone — although the story *is* logical if one believes in the God of the Bible who once spoke to man, in angelic messengers who ministered to people, in miracles that go beyond mortal ability or understanding. The truths of the gospel can delight the brightest of minds, even while being simple enough for a child to grasp.

Ultimately, the way to know if Joseph Smith was a prophet is to find out from the Source of truth, even God Himself.

One of the things I love about our faith is that we invite everyone to study what we believe and then ask God if the things The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes are true.

But a “testimony” of Joseph Smith’s divine calling can come in different ways to different people. I think of my father, who grew up in the Church but who didn’t really “know” like he wanted to until he became a missionary and plead for a specific and clear answer. He wanted to be able to go out as a missionary and have his own distinct witness. He received it, and he likely could tell you the day (and maybe even time) he got that answer.

Many others could probably share similar stories — they prayed and got an answer on such-and-such a day. I’ve seen this happen to one of my children — he can still remember a distinct experience. His six-year-old vocabulary described the moment (we were watching a video at home about Joseph Smith) like being wrapped in thousands of blankets. (He had a specific number — it was in the 6,000s. At age 11, he still remembers that moment.)

I, on the other hand, had my testimony of Joseph Smith’s prophetic calling unfold over time. For years, my testimony in his role in the restoration of the Savior’s gospel and organization of the latter-day church of Jesus Christ was tied inextricably to my testimony of the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon is a tangible result of Joseph Smith’s work, and because I had come to know the Book of Mormon was of God, I knew then that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.

I encourage anyone wondering about Joseph Smith to make the Book of Mormon a central part of their quest to know. Not only is it a key to knowing if what we claim is true, it’s also full of powerful teachings about the Savior and about God’s plan for His children.

I will add that I gained a more specific confirmation of the reality of Joseph Smith’s calling as I looked into people’s eyes day after day as a missionary and taught them about what happened to him, about that first experience where God and Jesus Christ visited him. It didn’t matter whether someone wanted to hear more or not — I consistently felt God’s Spirit testify to me that what I was teaching was true and real. It was thrilling to me to complete my mission knowing more than ever before that Joseph Smith was a prophet.

To those of you who are LDS and reading this, please consider sharing below how it is that you have come to know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

For more Ask a Mormon Woman questions/answers, please click here.

Do you have a question you would like to submit? Simply comment below, or send an email at gmail with the username ‘mormonwoman’

This question about how the LDS Church handles child abuse was recently addressed by Von G. Keetch, chief outside legal counsel for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He summed up by stating that the Mormon Church’s position is simply that “Abuse cannot be tolerated in any form.”

He explains:

For decades, the LDS Church has repeatedly, publicly, and unequivocally denounced child abuse as an “insidious evil” and a “sin of the darkest hue.” Church leaders at the highest level began making such statements and aggressively addressing the issue even before clergy-abuse cases raised public awareness in the mid-1980s. Since 1976, more than 50 articles have appeared in Church publications condemning child abuse or educating members about it. As wrenching as the topic is, Church leaders have given sermons about it more than 30 times at the Church’s worldwide conferences….

Read more on this topic in the article entitled: Protecting Children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

You can also read more about the Church’s position on abuse at lds.org under the index topic “Abuse“

If you have thoughts you want to share on this topic, please feel free to share them in the comments section.

Melissa: Learning to recognize the Spirit is such a personal journey. Not only do impressions differ from person to person, they differ with each experience. I would assume I’m like many–wanting to learn how to recognize the Spirit and invite the Lord more fully into my life.

The times I’ve felt most influenced by the Spirit have been when reading or watching something and part of the content hits me with particular force. Sometimes when praying about a problem I’ll have an image or memory come to mind. It’s still hard for me to differentiate the Spirit from the workings of my own mind, but I’m trying to learn.

Cheryl: I like Melissa’s response. I, too, have had an image or memory come to my mind when seeking an answer.

When I was younger, the Spirit tended to manifest truth to me through the “burning of the bosom” –but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that mostly it has come through words and thoughts –that clarity of thinking. I think it’s wonderful that as we change and grow, the Spirit changes the way we can hear/feel Him. Since our circumstances, education, growth, and desires mature and change, it makes sense to me that the way I’ve heard/felt the Spirit has changed, too.

Emily: We had a Family Home Evening lesson on this topic with our children. My then-five-year-old daughter was worried because she says she’s never felt the Spirit before. I’m pretty sure she has, but did not realize it yet.

One of the things we talked about is that learning how the Spirit speaks to you is a lifelong process. It is important to seek the Spirit, to learn about how the Spirit can work so you recognize it.

For my kids, for this lesson, I compared the Spirit/Comforter to the warmth of a blanket or a quilt. I think that’s a good place to begin.

RoAnn: My personality also seems to be one where clarity of thought and peace of mind about decisions seem to be the ways I most easily recognize the Spirit speaking to me.

I think one of the best ways to help children as well as ourselves to learn to recognize the influence of the Spirit in our lives is to discuss our experiences in the family, and write them down so that we can remember and refer to them.

Most of us have had discernible spiritual experiences: an idea on how to find a lost item; a feeling of relief or forgiveness after repenting of unkind act; a strong feeling of divine love and comfort when we are suffering; a prompting to call or visit a friend; a prompting to refrain from doing or saying something.

Many times (although not always!) we can see good results when we follow the direction of the Spirit, and bad results when we ignore it. Discussing our thought process and how we felt when we made a particular choice, and then reflecting on the consequent results, can help us learn to discern how the Spirit may be working in our lives.

Another Mormon woman said this: The actual Church is responsible to teach only the first four principles of the gospel, which are faith, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost. Once a person has received the gift of the Holy Ghost, it is the job of the Holy Ghost to teach them all things.

Recognizing the promptings and teachings of the Holy Ghost are necessary for one to progress further in the gospel. The scriptures only become alive through the teaching of the spirit, otherwise IMHO they would simply be words on a page.

Since the Spirit is felt in a number of ways it is hard to limit it by experience for me. I agree with the comment that learning how the spirit speaks to you is a lifelong process. We will progress until we are filled with the spirit and become sanctified by it.

Michelle: For me, personal revelation comes in different ways, and is often dependent on context or the need.

When I’m trying to make decisions about what to do (as in when I was deciding on a major or deciding about marriage), it often comes in a sense of what I call a “‘forward flow” if it’s right and uneasiness or lack of feeling settled.

If it’s about learning more about truth and doctrine, it will usually be with ideas just clicking, or that sense of “pure intelligence” when I know the ideas are not mine. Light really IS discernible (a la a favorite chapter of scripture, Alma 32).

If it’s about getting through a trial, often, I will just feel a sense of peace and comfort (not always immediately, but I have had enough of those anchors to know that peace can only come from God).

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” and reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

For more Ask a Mormon Woman questions/answers, please click here.

Do you have a question you would like to submit? Simply include a comment below, or send an email at gmail with the username ‘mormonwoman’

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To hear several members’ experiences with the search for truth and finding answers to life’s questions, see this page at mormon.org.

For more about this topic, see the following articles:

Robert D. Hales, “Personal Revelation: The Teachings and Examples of the Prophets,” Liahona, Nov 2007, 86–89

James E. Faust, “Communion with the Holy Spirit,” Liahona, Mar 2002, 3

L. Lionel Kendrick, “Personal Revelation,” Ensign, Sep 1999, 7

Gerald N. Lund, “Is It Revelation?,” New Era, Jul 2004, 44

Visiting Teaching Message: “Receiving Personal Revelation,” Liahona, Sep 2000, 25

As one of eight children, seven of them girls, and having been born only a few minutes after daughter number five, I  might have grown up with an inferiority complex. Though I did have insecurities about how my peers saw or felt about me, I never once considered the possibility that I was unwanted or not needed or was regarded as extra by my parents in any way.  I knew I was here on earth for a reason, a purpose, and according to a plan that was bigger than myself.

It has been such a blessing in my life to know that my Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan for me that can lead me back into His presence.  Knowing this, how could I doubt for one moment that I was born to the right family, at the right time, in the right place, regardless of the abundance of daughters my parents already enjoyed?  When I received my patriarchal blessing at the age of sixteen, I was not at all surprised to learn that this knowledge was a special gift that had been bestowed upon me from birth.

The giving of patriarchal blessings is a tradition in the Mormon Church just as it was in biblical times.  (Two examples in the Old Testament are in Genesis chapter 27 when Isaac blesses Jacob and chapter 49 when Jacob reveals to his sons what their futures held.)  The term “patriarch” refers to the male head of the family as well as a characteristic of a man who is older or higher in rank.  Amongst Mormons, patriarchal blessings are given by a man who has been called as a Patriarch [an office in the Melchizedek Priesthood] for a particular geographical area of the Church.  Generally, the Patriarch will not have met the recipient of the blessing beforehand and depends solely on inspiration from the Holy Ghost to guide him.  He lays his hands upon the head of the individual he is to bless and speaks aloud the words that he is inspired, through fasting and prayer, to say.  An audio recording is made and typed up, who then mails the written blessing to the recipient to keep near at hand for guidance and encouragement throughout their lives. These blessings are also kept by the Church and can become a precious part of family history records.

A patriarchal blessing includes information regarding a number of things that are important to us as Mormons/Latter-day Saints, not the least of which is learning of our personal lineage in the House of Israel.

“Each member of the Church inherits spiritual blessings and responsibilities through one of the twelve tribes of Israel. By inspiration from the Spirit, the patriarch declares the tribe through which you will receive these blessings. This lineage is not determined simply by your race or nationality. Members of the same genetic family can be from different tribes of Israel. This lineage often has to do with your responsibilities in the Lord’s kingdom. Many members of the Church are of the lineage of Ephraim, Manasseh, or Judah . . .  (Robert K Wagstaff, “When Should I Get My Patriarchal Blessing?,” New Era, Aug 2009, 10–12).

We also look to our blessings for guidance which is specific to that particular individual as well as information regarding our personal gifts, such as my gift of knowledge.  These are not the words of a fortuneteller, but that of a wise man who, through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, says what the Lord would have us know about ourselves as we are now and as we can become in the future.  This is a sacred event; specific contents are shared with only close family members.

My husband and I requested that our developmentally disabled son be given his patriarchal blessing at age twelve as his challenges in life made it very difficult for us to know how to best help him.  This request was granted and his blessing has done much to guide us in knowing what to expect and what to prepare him for.  We have also been very comforted to know what blessings we can expect him to receive in this life and the next.  It has made a very difficult job of parenting him a much more do-able one.

My personal blessing, for which I am so very grateful, also gives me much comfort, direction and guidance through the storms of life.  It helps to keep me on course by reminding me of—

1.   Who I am—a much loved daughter of God

2.  Why I am here—to learn what I need to know in order to regain His presence

3.  The blessings I can expect to receive in this life as well as my responsibilities

4.  The glorious gifts set aside for me in the next life if I am faithful in my obedience to His commandments

I know that God chooses faithful servants to seek His counsel in the giving of these precious blessings and that the words spoken in my blessing and that of others are personal scripture that can lead us and guide us towards the ultimate goal of living again in the presence of God.

**

**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” and (other content on this site) reflect the thoughts and perspectives of the administrators at Mormon Women. Although we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

For more Ask a Mormon Woman questions/answers, please click here.

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For more official Church information about patriarchal blessings, you can read the following on lds.org:

James E. Faust: Patriarchal Blessings

Patriarchal Blessings (index entry)

Boyd K. Packer: The Stake Patriarch

An insider has told me that the company [that just purchased the company I have been working for] is primarily Mormon. I have made no attempt at research, fear limiting me. I have heard bits and pieces of information, but never make judgments or believe “Hear Say”. My concern with a primarily Mormon-based company taking over has nothing to do with religion… I LOVE the people who have come to help us transition. They are helpful, genuine and some of the nicest people I have met. I’m scared because I have no religion and no desire to convert, I drink more coffee than I should and smoke cigarettes. To a Mormon, would that discredit the fact that I go above and beyond in my position, work EXTREMELY hard and that my company is my heart, 2nd to my family? I just don’t want to lose my job, I have a beautiful family who depends on me. Please tell me honestly what you would think.

Thank you for your question. We appreciate the fact that you choose to withhold judgment or put your confidence in hearsay. As such, we appreciate being able to share some thoughts with regard to your situation.

It sounds like the company should be grateful to have a worker like you! A strong work ethic is something I think any company would appreciate, so keep up the good work.

Of course, it probably goes without saying that anytime there is a company takeover/buyout/change in management, that sometimes jobs can be lost in the process. I hope this won’t be the case in your company, for anyone, including you.

But I want to address your specific concerns about having members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints primarily make up the new organization that has bought your company, and how and if that would have any bearing on any job decisions made.

I think it’s important first to separate out what it means to be Mormon from what boundaries companies have in terms of hiring and firing decisions they make. If anything were to happen, it should not be because you are not Mormon or don’t follow Mormon standards, but because of professional reasons and factors and policies. So, the short answer to your question is no. The Mormonism of your employers should not have any bearing on your job status.

That said, I would still like to respond more specifically to some of your concerns.

So, first of all, in terms of your religious preferences, my understanding is that it is simply illegal for a corporation like this to make staffing decisions based on religion. So please, don’t give that another thought. Your employers, Mormon or not, should have no professional interest in your religious beliefs (or lack thereof, if that is the case), and should not make decisions based on religious preferences. I would trust that they would not.

(That said, you may find that as you get to know people in your company who are Mormon, there may be some who may try to strike up a conversation with you about religion. If this happens, and you are not interested in talking about this, just be honest with them. We like to share with others because it means so much to us, but we are also told to be respectful of others’ perspectives and beliefs.)

In terms of drinking coffee, I’d say don’t worry one bit about this either. Unless your coffee drinking negatively affects your job performance I could see no reason this would be an issue for your job security.

As for smoking, I have just done a little bit of searching on this. What companies do about smoking and company policy does vary somewhat across companies. I was actually surprised to find out that there are a few companies out there who have made or are making business decisions not to hire smokers. (One example I saw did not apply this policy change to current employees, but to those in the future. For what it’s worth.)

Many companies, as I’m sure you know, also have certain policies that can vary about where people can and can’t smoke if smoking is allowed on the premises. I think state law also varies across the country with regard to smoking in the workplace.

This particular issue seems to be more specific to the individual companies and the laws that are binding on them. So my thought is just to ask if you have a concern. Find out what company policies exist, if any, regarding smoking. Decisions about smoking in the workplace seem to involve a lot of different factors, such as health concerns, company mission, cost concerns, work environment and culture goals, applicable laws, etc.

So this is one of those issues where I think it’s essential to realize that what to do about smoking in the workplace is not going to boil down to a Mormon vs. non-Mormon issue. It’s a more widespread question, with ongoing and varying discussions, ideas, and policies in professional, political, and legal realms.

I hope this helps. In the end, of course (and unfortunately), I cannot possibly predict all the specifics of what the new work situation will be like — again, because such company transitions are unique and often a bit tumultuous by definition. It must all be a bit unnerving in general (I’ve watched friends go through such mergers and acquisitions (went through it when I was working full-time), and it can be hard!) But I hope as you move forward that you can put any fears regarding the Mormonism of your employers to rest. Your employers should make any staffing decisions as any employers should — based on job performance, peer feedback, company finances and strategy and goals, company policy, current laws, etc.

I sincerely hope that your job in this transition will be unaffected and that you will find that the positive experiences you had had to the point when you wrote your question will continue.

Best wishes!

~Michelle**

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” and reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

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