(See more resources and links on our Pinterest board, Teaching Children about Sexuality and Pornography)

SecureMama recently did a booth at BYU Women’s Conference where she discussed a variety of ways we can be informed and help our children (and other children we care about) stay safe.

We should Care!

Online Rule of Agreement

Who is in the driver seat? User restrictions

Keep that baby gate up! Parental controls

Web filter – Keep the garbage out!

Does my computer have a cold? – Anti-Virus, Anti-spyware

Is your foundation Secure? – Operating System and Application Updates

iPhone iTouch Security for Teenagers

What are my kids talking about? – Cell phone Controls

Don’t talk to Strangers! – Safe Web Surfing

Where are my kids? – Social Networking

Keeping Kids Safe on YouTube

Sue wrote a wonderful post over at her blog. Wanted to give it (and her) a shoutout.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in this trap Sue describes?

I have a nasty habit when I’m busy or preoccupied of going on automatic pilot and running myself right out of gas. What’s worse, I never seem to notice the problem until I’m on dead empty…or maybe a little beyond. The signs are always the same: low energy, pesky little health issues, loss of enthusiasm, spiritual lethargy, and a kind of overeating but undernourishing that fails to satisfy. I’m sorry to say that I generally don’t slow down and stop for a refill until I literally have no other choice. (Being still has never been my strong suit.) And being stuck is a poor substitute.

For most of us, being stuck is a failure of imagination…and staying stuck is offering that failure a chair. “Come on in and sit a spell,” our passive selves beckon….

If you have (and I suspect most of us have), I think you’ll enjoy Sue’s thoughts on what helps pull her out of the stuck-ness to once again be still and feel God’s grace in her life.

I’ve been thrilled to find some great resources for parents who are concerned about helping keep their kids safe online and with internet-enabled devices. Look for more posts this week on this topic.

(See more resources and links on our Pinterest board, Teaching Children about Sexuality and Pornography)

Today, we’re featuring Women for Decency, which has a lot of great resources on their website about how to keep children safe at home and at school. They also have community action ideas. Here are a few examples of their resources for helping keep children safe:

One-minute conversation starters

What to teach children (about pornography, how to share your values, etc.)

Having conversations with children about pornography, sex (and helping them separate the two!)

Family Media Guidelines

“It Only Takes a Minute” — simple things you can do to safeguard your home

Promoting decency and media literacy

Tips for dealing with cyberbullying

I’ve Got the Power – brochure for elementary-aged students (consider sharing this with your school officials for an official White Ribbon Against Pornography week, and use in your home as well)

Do you know of some good resources for promoting internet safety, talking to children about pornography and cyberbullying, etc.?

It’s important when dealing with addiction to understand that the scriptures alone won’t cure everything, but even so, there is still tremendous power and healing in the gospel. It’s been interesting to me through all this how the scriptures can take on new meaning. One of these for me was Alma 14.

This is the chapter where the women and children get thrown into the fire while everybody else watches. Not usually one of my favorite chapters, but I found some additional meaning in this for addiction.

First of all, Alma (the same Alma the Younger who actively destroyed the Church until he cried out to Jesus for help) and Amulek are bound with “strong cords” v. 3. They are helpless, powerless to do anything. They can’t take the actions they usually would. They are led around from one place to another by people who want to destroy them. Sound familiar?

Then they make Alma and Amulek watch the women and children get thrown into the fire. They are innocent victims. They didn’t do anything to cause this to happen, and yet they have to suffer. Ever felt like you’re being “consumed” by the addiction? That it’s causing you excruciating pain? That there’s nothing for you to do except take it? Ever wonder why your spouse sees your suffering and doesn’t seem to care or do anything to stop it?

Then they get taken to prison. They’re mocked, asked why they don’t do anything to stop it. Maybe people have asked why your husband doesn’t just stop, or thought if he was really faithful, he could save himself from the addiction. Maybe your spouse has thought the same thing. But Alma and Amulek still couldn’t do anything. They’re hungry, naked, thirsty. They’re suffering enormous pain, indignity, and humiliation. And nothing changes.

Here’s where things change. Every single guard, lawyer, and teacher smites Alma and Amulek. They suffer every single last amount of pain as possible. They go to the very bottom, to the depths of hell (which the women and children already suffered in the fire). Then, and only then, they stand and call upon God.

The standing part is interesting to me. In the scriptures, people stand to receive covenants (“stand as a witness of God”, “stand in holy places”, “stand before the judgment seat”). So they called upon their covenants and asked God to help them. That’s what they had, and that’s what gave them the power of God–their covenants. We can also call upon God to help.

Then, that’s when the prison collapses. Sometimes, with us, the process doesn’t happen instantly. But it does happen. The bonds are broken, the walls are rent in twain, and our enemies are slain.

But it isn’t just Alma’s power that does this. It’s Alma and Amulek together. Back in Alma 8, when Alma found Amulek, it was at a low point. He was feeling like no one was listening to him, that he was failing at his task (I relate to that). But the Lord prepared someone to help him–a person with ties to the community, a person with food and water to nourish him, a person with the resources to turn things around. The Lord gave Alma power and succored him more than once through another person. Addicts, when they are spiritually hungry, thirsty, and naked, need an Amulek in their lives to help them recover. And so do their spouses. Maybe that’s a bishop, a friend, or a recovery program. Maybe there are lots of Amuleks, and maybe you’ll need to call on their help more than once.

So Alma and Amulek emerge triumphant while their enemies are slain. And what about the wives and children? Those poor, innocent people are still dead, right? Well, here’s how I look at it.

If they had gotten pulled out of the fire, they would have emerged broken. They would be scarred forever. In movies and books, survival is the greatest good–will the hero save everyone in time? But not so in the eternal plan. If they had come out of that fire too soon, they would be injured forever. The scars would form, but those women and children would always be in pain. They could be missing part of themselves. The only way for them to emerge from the fire, healed and whole, is for them to return to their Heavenly Father.

It’s the same with us. When we go through pain and anguish, when we feel like we’re being consumed in the fire of addiction, our pain is very real and raw. And yet the Atonement is there to restore not just us, but ourselves and our children. We can be made 100% whole, not just of our sins, but our pain. We can find forgiveness and peace again. And just as resurrected people are themselves, only with perfect bodies, we can walk through the fire and come out of it not just healed, but even better than we were. Some spouses I’ve met talk about the addiction as a gift. It’s not a trial they would have chosen, but after going through it, they change and they become so much happier than they were before. Spiritually, we need the Atonement as much as our husbands do. The Lord will give us power and make ourselves, our husbands, and our families stronger than they ever were before.

“To Mothers Who Hate Mother’s Day.” This one is by Braden Bell.

What Makes You Beautiful: A Message For Mothers

A Mother’s Heart (music by William Joseph)

Happy Mother’s Day (to all who are where Mother’s Day is being celebrated today).

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A few posts we wish had been on our list yesterday include this one on overcoming discouragement from Stephanie. We’ll be sharing another one of her posts later this week.

You can find other posts about motherhood in the Mormon Women archives. (That’s the tag for motherhood, starting on page 2 of the archives (since right now the page 1 archives are accessible on our home page. Here’s more content under the tag Mormon motherhood.”)

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The best Mother’s Day gift a husband/father can give:

Teens pay tribute to their mothers:

We know that Mother’s Day is a tender day for many — for women who have lost children, for women who are not married, and for others who suffer from feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and other pain. We hope some of the posts recently shared can help if you are feeling like you are “not enough.” We’ve shared a few posts in the past few days on that topic, and here’s a favorite video shared again. Also following are a couple of videos that touch on some of the other pain some women may feel on this day.

For mothers who have lost a child:

For women who do not currently have children of their own:

Catherine has some thoughts for mothers who don’t feel like they are enough:

When You Think You Are Not Enough

I hear this from women. Often. I read it in your emails and comments. I hear it in our conversations, in the pitch of your voice. I draw it out of the lines on the screen and I understand. Because I say it too.

Read how Catherine’s personal experiences and challenges are helping her challenge the “not enough” feelings that are all too common among mothers.

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We missed the chance for a link-up, but we love the invitation they extended. It’s called Mother Letters. (Read more about how the idea started here.)

“If you had the opportunity to write your own Mother Letter to another mother, what would you say?” The idea is to share encouraging words for someone who might be struggling or needing some support in their mothering. Write your own Mother Letter, and mail it, or post it on your blog, or share it in the comments below.

And be sure to take a look at some of the Mother Letters that were written and linked at the bottom of the link-up post.

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Michelle (a different Michelle from Mormon Women’s Michelle!) captures beautifully the power of motherhood. Again, the topic of not letting those voices of “not enough” or “do more to prove your worth” are addressed:

Toppling the Queen

Ask the world, and my influence score is shockingly low.

But for my children and the people around me, I DO matter. And I can’t be toppled by those minions whispering, “you make a mess of everything!” “what is wrong with you?” “why do you even try?” In fact I’d very much like to be one of those women who when I get up in the morning the devil says, “Oh no! She’s awake again.”

My little chess mavens taught me the best way to defeat the queen is to distract her; create all kinds of chaos around her, then take her down. Our world could scarcely contain more distractions for women– beauty secrets, social networks, PTA, Pinterest– we are expected to hide our wrinkles, watch our weight, serve the community, maintain a career (at least a little something on the side), all while nurturing children, making dinner and cultivating a happy marriage.

We are all, each of us (mothers or wives or not) more powerful than we believe.

You’ll want to read the whole post. It’s so good. There is power in motherhood.

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Read Kathryn’s reflections on Mary, the mother of Jesus, and lessons we can learn from pondering her life:

Like Mary, the Mother of Jesus

To me, Mary is a sacred symbol, as well as spiritual evidence, to all of mankind, of the worth and dignity of the sacred calling of every woman, as a mother. As we study the life of Mary, the mother of the Savior of the world, the pattern of motherhood is clearly marked.

Read more about the several patterns Kathryn sees in Mary’s life.

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Rachel opens up and shares how Mother’s Day has been hard for her and for her mother.

Celebrating Mother’s Day may not always feel like a celebration, but a day of guilt, especially when we compare ourselves to other women. On Mother’s Day we’re reminded of all the things we should be doing, we hear how wonderful and “perfect” other mothers are, and we think how our lives and situations aren’t like those of the women around us.

Read what she and her mother did to try to have a different experience on Mother’s Day.

Turning the Pain of Mother’s Day into Joy

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This is a beautiful Mother’s Day tribute, a song written by Mormon women songwriter/musician, Calee Reed. Calee’s mom passed away recently from cancer. She wrote this song as a tribute to her mother.

Will you help Calee share this message, in honor of her mother and as a tribute to mothers everywhere, and to help those suffering from cancer?  (At Mormon Women, we don’t do commercial sponsorships, but because 100% of the proceeds from this single will be donated to the Huntsman Cancer Foundation, we felt it was appropriate to share.)

“She Put the Music in Me,” by Calee Reed on YouTube.

~by Janelle

With Mother’s Day right around the corner for women in many parts of the world, several posts on motherhood have been swirling in my head.

I could give tips on what moms really want this Mother’s Day.

I could share my personal experiences with all the different mothers in my life and pay tribute to the women who are helping me to raise my children. Neighbors, preschool and piano teachers – I love you.

I could write a post memorializing my own good mother. And maybe I will!

But today I want to touch on a subject my friend and I talked about last night that indirectly applies to Motherhood: God’s love. My task-driven attempts to earn God’s approval as a mother are failing. I’ve been spinning my wheels checking all the right boxes day in and day out and despite the buzz of good works I’m building up, I have felt a spiritual distance developing. After recounting my day and the struggles I faced to my friend over the phone, she gently reminded me that I don’t need to earn God’s love. I already have it.

I let out a sigh and let that sink in.

I already have God’s love.

And that felt so RIGHT. I have felt it, I know God is there and what He has chosen to share with me of Himself is kind, gentle and entreating. That internal voice that scolds me for forgetting to bring in cut flowers for Teacher Appreciation day, the shame I feel as papers fly out every time I open the car door and the weariness I feel when I find my toddler has smashed strawberries into the carpet -AGAIN isn’t God. It’s me, or worse the devil, trying to discourage me from feeling God’s love.

To combat this effective trap of the adversary I am praying. Praying to feel God’s love. Praying to know that He accepts my sacrifice as a mother. Praying for access to His divine grace. Praying that He will multiply my efforts for the benefit of my family. Praying for the peace He promised for those who love Him.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid.

I no longer want to trouble my heart with silly distractions. God and my family love me. Despite all of my weaknesses, and maybe even because of them, God and my family love me. And to all those mothers who are also fretfully spinning their wheels: God loves you too.

I wish you all a very peaceful Mother’s Day.