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Mormon Women: Who We Are - Part 2

Ask A Mormon Woman: How Are Women Treated in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

~by Janelle

I am going to respond to this question based on my personal experience, contrasting some of my work experience in the “real world” to the experiences I’ve had as a woman in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

After graduating with a degree in Finance, I immediately found a job as a bonds broker at a prominent bank. We specialized in municipal, commercial, and treasury bonds. I had a three-month training period where I studied for and passed several certification exams. During this training period I was to listen in on the calls senior-level brokers were making to hear how they sold bonds as well as how they established personal relationships with their clients.

While working at this firm, I was frequently propositioned for sex by one of my co-workers. The calls that I listened in on were riddled with foul and obscene language. When I complained to my boss and my co-workers about the working environment I heard responses like “That is just how this business is” or “Grow up.”

Having more experience, I know now that there was ample cause for a sexual harassment suit against the firm. But at the time, I was shocked into silence because one of the other two women that worked on my floor was the main perpetrator of sexually explicit and degrading conversations in the workplace.

After completing my training, I began cold calling fund managers. I was elated when I made my first contact and potential sale. Word traveled fast around the trading desk and within minutes, I had a man whose nickname was “The Bear” at my desk. He screamed at me until his face turned red, telling me that “That was his client and how dare I poach such a lucrative account.” I assured him that the client I spoke to had no current ties to our firm and had now idea who he was, but to no avail. I was on “The Bear’s” turf and I had better back off.

I quit the next day.

Months later, I found my way into teaching and have had pleasant working experiences since, but my first real job was an eye-opener as to how women can be treated.

Compare my work experience to one I had while serving within our Church. When I was 27 years old I was called to be a Young Women President in my congregation after serving as a counselor in the Young Women Presidency for one year. In that calling as president, I was leading a board of seven other women and was responsible for part of the spiritual education of teenagers. We planned weekly activities for and monitored the progress of 35 young women ages 12- 18. I had monthly meetings with my board, as well as with other Stake Young Women leaders (also women). We held meetings with the girls every Sunday and had fun midweek activities. Sometimes there were larger events like dances, girls’ camp, and youth conferences to plan and execute. I was expected to be capable, nurturing, and responsible. I was treated as an equal by my peers and by my leaders. The message I continually heard from my male leaders, such as my Bishop and Stake leadership was, “How can we help?” I was never micro-managed, I never felt like an underling, I never felt anything but appreciated.

I never heard foul or degrading language at church. My ideas were always listened to, and I sat in monthly council meetings with other ward leaders and gave my opinion on larger ward issues. The young women were often called upon to aid in larger ward issues through service projects. We felt valued, influential, and responsible.

Since we have a lay clergy, as is the case with any local calling in our church, I was eventually released from my calling as Young Women President, and the burdens and blessings of responsibility passed to another woman in my ward. (Hooray!) But I have had great experiences in every capacity of service within the Church.

My favorite duty or calling is Sunday School teacher. Both men and women are instructors in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I can’t imagine a calling with more influence than teacher. Right now, I teach Sunday School to a dozen youth ages 13 and 14. It is the highlight of my week. Studying the scriptures together we get to dive into what I call the “meat and potatoes” of the gospel. We talk about faith, prayer, and Jesus Christ. We take the scriptures and relate them to our personal lives. I never leave my class without a huge smile on my face. Nothing is more rewarding to me than gospel teaching.

In my church experiences, I have encountered a handful of people (male and female) along the way, who of their own accord have acted chauvinistic, misogynistic or have abused power to the detriment of the souls of those around them. Tragedies do happen within the Church, but I can see that the actions of these handful of people were not rooted in the doctrines of the Church.

Here are some quotes that articulate our Church’s perspective on women.

Two are usually better than one, 1 as our Father confirmed when He declared that “it was not good that the man should be alone” 2 and made a help meet for Adam—someone with distinct gifts who would give him balance, help him shoulder the burdens of mortality, and enable him to do things he couldn’t do alone. For “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” 3

Satan understands the power of men and women united in righteousness. He is still stinging from his banishment into eternal exile after Michael led the hosts of heaven, comprised of valiant men and women united in the cause of Christ, against him. In the chilling words of Peter, “The devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 4 Lucifer is determined to devour marriages and families, because their demise threatens the salvation of all involved and the vitality of the Lord’s kingdom itself. Thus, Satan seeks to confuse us about our stewardships and distinctive natures as men and women. He bombards us with bizarre messages about gender, marriage, family, and all male-female relationships. He would have us believe men and women are so alike that our unique gifts are not necessary, or so different we can never hope to understand each other. Neither is true.

Our Father knew exactly what He was doing when He created us. He made us enough alike to love each other, but enough different that we would need to unite our strengths and stewardships to create a whole. Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family, no ward or stake is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths.

~Sheri Dew

“When My Prayers Seem Unanswered”

Have you ever struggled, wondering why your prayers may seem unanswered? Why blessings you desire are not coming as you would hope? Why things are so hard? Wondering how to discern answers to prayer?

At a time when I was struggling with questions like this, my visiting teacher shared this talk with me. Given by S. Michael Wilcox, the address was in itself an answer to prayers in my heart, something that had a significant effect on me. I hope it might be helpful to someone else.

(Here’s an audio link and a video link. Video is also below.)

What kinds of topics are covered at Campus Education Week?

If you are curious to know what kinds of classes are offered at BYU Campus Education Week, this list of Mormon Times (from the 2009 BYU Campus Education Week) highlights the wide variety of topics that are covered. Subjects include spiritual topics such as the Atonement, Mormon doctrine on salvation and hell, and women in the scriptures. Many practical topics about day-to-day life, family relationships, and emotional and physical health were also covered. Classes specifically for youth are given each year as well.

We’ll be highlighting a few of previous years’ talks here at Mormon Women this week so that wherever you are, you can enjoy a little of what Campus Education Week is all about.

BYU Education Week preview

Chronicle that history or put it in a narrative

Tips for living: Publishing your family history

LDS author gives ideas how to stretch your time

Bennett invites readers to take a ‘leap of faith’
[presentation on the Book of Mormon]

Fearful or fearless at final judgment

‘Tender mercies’ are personalized blessings from God


Chaos normal in motherhood


Nothing surprising in news content about Mormons in 1830


BYU Education Week: Joseph Smith, ‘The Seer Stone’

BYU Education Week: Handmaidens of the Lord

Joseph Smith ‘most influential’ 19th century American

Online predators often start with porn


Finding great movies for families, part two


Finding great movies for families

The Atonement can heal what we can’t’

Life lessons from the happy people of Nephi

Tests are gifts from God

What’s on the Prophet’s mind matters

BYU Education Week: Being positive to your spouse

BYU Education Week: Praying with sincerity

Learning to bear the harsh realities of life

Peterson: God of emotion tricky for other faiths

Happy couples share intimate time together, Brinley says

BYU professor discusses the doctrine of hell

Parents urged to text their teens

Ballam spreads music with ‘Opera With Children

Budgeting money for kids and parents

Twelve ways to be more like Christ

‘Me First’ attitude and the ailing economy

Tom Holmoe give Cougar ‘junkies’ what they want

Silencing the inner negative voices

How are we saved?

Flick shares how to keep a spiritual book of remembrance

Bytheway teaches youth how to get the most out of Sunday

Psychologist at BYU’s Education Week speaks on addiction

Understanding grace through the Pauline epistles

Obesity robbing people of joy and freedom, doctor says

Families are under attack, LDS leader cautions

BYU Education Week: Similarities and basic truths among religions


BYU Education Week: Achievers help all of society


BYU Education Week: Valuing gender differences

BYU Education Week: Nephi, Mary and sacred tree symbols

Education Week is a family affair for many


Breaking up with the world isn’t always easy

Reunion with God not immediate, Y. prof says

Music is the energy of life, Ballam tells Education Week crowd

No need to panic, BYU professor says

BYU Education Week: The diversion of wealth

BYU Campus Education Week

Thousands of Mormons (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) are enjoying the hundreds of classes offered at a yearly event at Brigham Young University called Campus Education Week. This year’s theme is “Teach One Another Words of Wisdom.”

“Originally called “Leadership Week,” Campus Education Week was first held in 1922. The focus of that first conference was on LDS Church leadership training. Since that time, the focus has broadened, adding classes for every aspect of life, as well as classes specifically for the youth.”

Read more in this Deseret News article about Campus Education Week.

A Mormon Woman’s Thoughts on Prayer

Michelle B., a Mormon woman, shares some thoughts on the topic of prayer:

Mormons believe in the importance of prayerI agree with C.S. Lewis. Prayer does not change God, it changes me. I know that the Lord is unchangeable and is constant and constantly wanting to hear and communicate with us. He is always there listening and loving. When I pray, even though I know Heavenly Father already knows what I need, I am grateful for the opportunity to humble myself and ask anyway. When I speak to my Heavenly Father I feel a peace and comfort knowing that He is listening and will answer my prayers in His own due time and way. I am humbled to know that with all of the people and events going on in the world, He knows me personally and takes the time to listen to me, everytime I pray. He does not put me on hold, He does not let the machine pick up and return my call later, He is always there, always listening and always communicating. I know that as I keep myself in the right frame of mind, I will hear and feel and know the answers to my prayers and what it is He would have me do to further is work here on earth.

My Parents Wedding Anniversary

My parents just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. My siblings and I threw them a huge bash in the hopes of recreating their original wedding reception back in the summer of 1970. Minus the bell bottoms and Cher-like hair, of course.

We left nothing out. There was a wedding cake with their original topper on it. Original bridesmaids and groomsmen were invited. A guestbook table was set up with their original sign in pages for guests to put their signature on. We even used my Mom’s original wedding colors in the decor. There was reception-like food, professional photos taken, and their first dance recreated. And we were even lucky enough to do this entire celebration in the original church building.

It was a grand night, to say the least.

What was so interesting to me though, was that amidst all the hustle and bustle to make the evening a magical memory for my parents, what I came away with in the end was something entirely different.

I was standing there next to my husband who was DJing the evening, watching my Dad escort my Mom onto the dance floor for their first dance of the night, and it hit me. This was what love looked like. Two old people, awkwardly dancing, holding each other up, with my Mom’s head leaning ever so gently on my Dad’s chest. You could feel the history of their lives together in that dance. Their struggles and triumphs. Their good days and bad. Their many ups and downs. And through it all…here they were….still together.

That’s what true, eternal love is and will always be to me.

Oh how grateful I am for parents who taught me not only how to find love in this world, but more importantly, how to keep it. And by making their commitment to each other more than just a “till death do us part” kinda thing…starting their marriage off in the temple where we can be sealed as families forever and ever. Beyond the grave. Beyond this life. Beyond the skies and planets and stars…..our bonds as husband and wife are eternal. Now that my friends, is true love.

I couldn’t help but smile at my husband as the song ended and my parents remained, holding hands, as they greeted their family and friends who had come to congratulate them on their special day. He winked at me and I giggled. And I must admit…the tears filling up my eyes were ones of pure joy.

2010 BYU Women’s Conference: Primary Presidency

Enjoy talks given to Mormon women by the Primary Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Their 2010 BYU Women’s Conference presentation was entitled “‘They Had Been Taught to Keep the Commandments of God and to Walk Uprightly Before Him.” (Video download link can be found here. For more archived talks, see the BYU Women’s Conference website, or BYU-TV’s archives.)

Torah Bright: “Why I Believe”

Torah Bright, an Australian snowboarder who won a gold medal in the half-pipe event at the Vancouver Olympics, shares about her love of the sport and also about her beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Her interview is the first of a series of “Why I Believe” interviews of Australian members of the LDS Church.

Mormon Motherhood: Sunday Mommy vs. Rest of the week Mommy

Sunday for a Mormon mom

Some may find it hard to believe, but the gal I am at church on Sunday’s is not always the gal I am the other six days of the week.  And while I strive to merge my “two personalities” into one….I fail most of the time.  But I’ve recently come to accept it.  I am who I am.  Yes, constantly striving to be like my Savior and most of the time seeming to come up short, but nonetheless, still trying.

For those of you out there who find my split personality acknowledgment beyond annoying, please let me explain.  More importantly, let me help you understand that we all, at one time or another in our lives, have the same exact issue as I do.  And it’s okay.  Really, it is.

There is a reason why Sunday has been separated in the eyes of God for us.  It is the ever popular “Day of Rest.”  For us Mormon Women, that may seem like a far fetching definition…but who is to blame for that?  Yes, I’ve found myself cleaning up breakfast dishes, doing last minute laundry for church, washing what seems to be endless heads of lil’ girls and then putting in various bows and clips and ponytails to complete their looks of utter cuteness. And yes, I think to myself, “Day of Rest, my foot!”  But it is what it is.  And when I walk though the chapel doors of my church I look at my family with a smile.  Yes, the smile may only last for a minute or two before one of my children starts to act like a monkey and falls off the pew while reaching for a gold fish cracker…but that smile….it existed.  And I relish it’s existence…short as it may have been.

Then the opening hymn starts to be played on the organ.  And I hear the sounds of my favorite song filling the air all around me.  After a time, I listen to the sacrament being blessed…those words….those beautiful words hold my heart….as I so desperately try to hold on to the child that is wanting to dance and sing Primary songs in between the pews.  She calms down as I gently whisper to her what the bread and water mean.  I tell her of Christ.  I tell her how much He loves her and wants her to sit and be still so that she can feel His love for her through the gift of the Holy Ghost.  She listens and again, that smile is back on my face.

Before I know it, speakers that have been assigned to talk to us are up at the microphone.  The share their testimonies of the gospel with us. They encourage us to be like Christ, to keep His commandments, to live as He would live….and so much more. I’m grateful that my oldest child is paying attention and that my middle child is quietly coloring next to me and my husband. The baby boy is being held by my friend behind me, loving every minute of it.  And yes….you guessed it….my smile has emerged again.

By the time sacrament meeting is over, it’s off the the rest of our church meetings.  For the next two hours I enjoy Sunday School and Relief Society.  I laugh. I cry. I listen. I pray. I sing. I thank.  Boy, do I thank my Heavenly Father for all my blessings.

And then church is over….and it’s back home we go.

I try my very best to keep the Spirit of Church going in my home the rest of the day. And most of the time…it’s there.

Then I wake up Monday morning….and it’s back to the weekly wear and tear in our lives.  And I find myself slowly changing from “Sunday Woman” to “Rest of the Week Woman.”  Like I said, I do my best to merge the two.  But heaven knows I can’t wait for Sunday to roll around again so that I can be “Spiritually Recharged” for the other six days.

It is what it is.  And I’m grateful to just be able to recognize the difference…and more importantly…keep trying to come unto Christ.  To be like Him….

Rebroadcasts of 2010 BYU Women’s Conference Talks: Sister Julie B. Beck

Link to video archive of Sister Becks’ talk