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Do you have a question about Mormon life and beliefs? Feel free to ask it here. Feel free to do so anonymously, if you prefer. We respond to every question via email and post many of the questions and answers here on the site. Please be sure your email address is valid. It will not be shared.

Simply leave your question in the comments section below, or send us an email at gmail, username ‘mormonwoman’ or ‘mormonwomen.’

Our responses will, of course, not be official LDS Church answers, but we figure that sometimes it can be helpful to hear from a run-of-the-mill Mormon.


  1. Hello Scared,

    So glad you reached out. You have zeroed in on an important truth — no one can tell you what to do. Ultimately, your best source will be God, so keep reaching out to Him to help you sort through things.

    That said, the Church has many articles about pondering what to do as an unwed mother.

    For example, from the Provident Living website:

    “Choosing to marry, single parent, or place your child with adoptive parents may be one of the most important decisions you will make in your life and will probably be the most influential decision affecting the life of your child.

    “When making such important decisions, it is best to gather as much information as possible, ponder its significance, and prayerfully take it to the Lord. Bishops, parents, extended family, friends, and professional counselors can be excellent sources of information to help and support you through this process.”

    You can also reach out to others who have been in your shoes. I imagine LDS Family Services could help you find support groups and/or people you could talk to. In fact, they have a phone number you can call, too, for support and help.


    If you do decide to marry the father, then you could be married by a bishop in one of our church buildings. To be married in the temple, however, he would need to be a member for at least a year.

    God bless you as you work through this important decision. I have no doubt that as you lean on the Lord and trust your instincts about what is right, this will be an experience that can strengthen you and your faith. God is so aware of you, personally, and wants what is best for you and your unborn little one. Saying a prayer for you tonight!

  2. Jaclyn

    I recently was sealed with my husband in the temple and now I have to start wearing undergarments….I am struggling so hard with actually wearing them. I do not like both the top and bottom and do not feel attractive bc I guess I’m used to wearing “skimpy clothing” although I would say modest skimpy clothing. How do I get past not liking undergarments to wear them? Really need some advice!!!

  3. Jaclyn,

    I’ve asked some other women to help respond to your question as well, but my thoughts are to study more about the doctrine behind the garment. It can feel like it’s about clothing, but the core of the garment is about the Atonement and being covered by Christ. For example, you can read the story of Adam and Eve, ponder what is taught in the endowment session, read more about Old Testament symbolism in temple clothing (Exodus 29 is an example of a chapter you can read). There are articles at about the garment and we have a couple of articles here at Mormon Women, too.

    For me, anyway, these are things that make the garment something very meaningful for me.

    In a more practical sense, I also found that it took me a while to figure out which style I liked the best – in terms of fabric, cut (square neck vs. round, for example). It’s not uncommon for there to be an adjustment period, so I’d just say be patient with the transition.

    And pray lots so that God can help you connect with what He would have you understand about what wearing the garment can mean for you.

    Sending thoughts and prayers your way!

  4. Jaclyn,

    In the private FB group where I asked this question, many women responded with similar thoughts to the above, but the comment I wanted to share from that discussion was from someone I know and love deeply who wanted to be sure that you knew that you aren’t alone in your feelings. This woman is very faithful and is a personal inspiration to me for many reasons.

    For some, garments come to mean something more ‘deep’ over time, and for others, they remain a real, simple, and continued act of faith.

    She even called me so that I could feel of the love in her heart for you and the earnestness with which she chooses to show her faith by wearing garments even though she doesn’t love them, practically speaking.

    She wrote:

    “Michelle, she might just need the simple, over complicating things sometimes makes things overwhelming to people who are struggling with a certain principle or choice. I hope that she can find the strength. Please make sure to tell her how much her Heavenly Father loves her and is pleased that she is reaching out with the desire to try…and how much He wants to bless her with his end of the covenants that are promised by wearing the temple garment, and that He will be there to help her because she is so important to Him and He wants her to succeed even though He knows this is hard for her!!! Please tell her that I’m cheering for her too and send her my love!!!!”

    So first, I wanted to communicate that love and hope you can know that sisters care about you! I also just found it interesting to see the range of experiences and feelings about the garment. The common thread (no pun intended) is that those who wear them do so out of faith. Even that you are asking and desiring shows YOUR faith, and we all just encourage you forward in that process.

    Here is more of her experience, for what it’s worth.

    “Making sure the size and type are important. I would definitely mention that because some fits are better than others!

    “However, I actually agree with her and I always have! I do not like wearing garments and I have many very righteous friends that do not like it either. They are not flattering, they bunch in wrong places, they really add a layer of extra that I do not want/need, and they are very hot during the warmer times ( I could go on but no need)…on top of that they absolutely do not make me feel attractive…however, [to me] that isn’t what the point of wearing garments is about. I wear garments because I love my Heavenly Father and he asked me to. I have been wearing them faithfully for 23 years and I still feel the same way about them.

    “The truth is [you] might never learn to like them…I haven’t, but I did get used to them. I, also, make a conscious effort to make sure I do not stay in my exercise clothes or swimming suit/cover-ups too long so that I make sure I put them back on, because I really would prefer not to wear them. Heavenly Father knows that I really don’t like them and that’s okay. He never said I had to like garments, just that I have to wear them and for me I think it is also good to be obedient with a good positive attitude, so I really try not to complain.

    “Truth is, it is a way to show Heavenly Father that we love him and are willing to submit our will to His even if we don’t really want to or like it.

    “My suggestion is tell her it is okay not to like them and she might never come to really like them but if she will take a leap of faith and wear them as our Heavenly Father has asked us then she will have a stronger relationship with her Heavenly Father and He will help her during times that it gets hard to put them on and wear them properly.

    “Sometimes a simple prayer for help…a little, “I really do not want to do this today Father but I am going to because Thou asked me too, so please help me do this and have a positive attitude about it…” is enough to get us through it. Wearing garments is a way to actively do something that says, ” Heavenly Father, I choose to follow Thee today and Thou knows that I am trying my hardest because I am doing something that is hard for me.” Gaining a strong testimony of the temple is important and might help with the decision to put them on, getting a blessing for the strength to be able to do what one should is always helpful….however, to me it is as simple as basic obedience to our Heavenly Father.”

    Jaclyn, ultimately, this will be a journey between you and your Father in Heaven. Perhaps more meaning will distill over time for you as it has for many of us. And perhaps your experience will match more of this woman and others she knows who have similar feelings. Like she said, no matter what, as you come to know and lean on God’s love for you, He can help you with this and with any other thing that may be a struggle. He doesn’t always change or take away our struggles, but He will listen to them, love us through them, and give us the strength in His way and time to live with and learn from them.


  5. Kourtney

    I have seen a lot of female Mormon passengers stand outside the vehicle while the driver backs up… Just curious what the reasoning is behind it. Thanks!

  6. Emily

    My family and I just recently moved to Wyoming, one day we decided to make a trip down to Salt lake city. I had been warned that I might be treated differently because I/we are not mormon. I was very suprised at how my children and I could walk through the stores and mall and not one person made eye contact or said hello. It was like we were invisible. So my question is this, why do Mormons not talk to non-mormons?

  7. Emily, I’m sorry to hear of your experience. We are encouraged to reach out and be kind to all, so it makes me sad that you left with a feeling we don’t talk to non-Mormons.

    I hope you will someday have an experience with Mormons that is positive so you can feel what we are supposed to live.

  8. Kathy Ostler

    I would like to get the sheet music on this is it available ?

  9. Dock

    I am struggling with a problem in my Stake. I have a high calling in my Ward and it is hard for me to sustain my Sp. and 2nd C. I absolutely love and feel the spirit from our 1st.C. I have two very beautiful daughters that are in our yw. program and home schooled the YW. president has decided to focus all of her energy on them by calling them out for things they are wearing (my 12 yo. wore a tank top to a Wed. night activity) that is not the only thing that has happened. I am struggling with the judgement with this ward and I feel as if I need to ask to be released. I was told bc of my calling I am under a microscope for every thing My family does right or wrong.I expressed my opinion pretty strong and said well that is judgmental and it is wrong to judge people. I was always told that a calling is for the person. We go to church (all of us) bc we are sinners not bc we are perfect, I would much rather go to church sit in a pew and just listen and feel the spirit. We are in the South so I don’t know if it is different here than the West but I feel there are different standards being pushed in different parts of the church (geographically). I wanted to turn to our area 70 and speak with him but I don’t know if that is possible. So again I throw my hands up in the air and keep going.

  10. If you are referring to Shawna Edwards’ music, you can find it here:

  11. Kristen Call

    I am considering becoming a part of the Mormon religion, but I am very intimidated. My father and step mother, who live in California, are Mormon. I live in Iowa. As a young child, I attended the Mormon church with my family and often read scriptures with my Dad. However, my parents divorced when I was young and when I moved with my mother, I stopped attending church. While I have always maintained a close personal relationship with our Heavenly Father, I have not attended church in a very, very long time (over 10 years). I am also a young, divorced mother of 3 young children. The decision to divorce was a hard one that I made only because my husband had succumbed to the influence of drugs and had become a very dangerous and abusive man. Is there a place for my children and I in the Mormon church? I know that the Mormon church has wonderful family values and a strong faith. I would like to be a part of that again. However, I am afraid we will not be accepted because I am a divorced single mother.



  13. Julie Anderson

    I have a question. I am going to get married at the Las Vegas Temple 2/13. I will wear one of the dresses provided at the Temple. I would like to have pictures taken afterwards in a dress that is considered in the “civil world” which I got from a Bridal shop as a Mother of the Bride dress. I can make it totally LDS appropriate, garments covered (By wearing a matching colored cap sleeve tank under it), no cleavage, etc. It is royal blue, has a cute bolero jacket (that does have sequins), floor length. Is it appropriate for me to wear into the Temple, even though it is obviously dresser than Sunday dress?

  14. Julie, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! It’s great that you are planning ahead with questions like this. I would recommend calling the temple to find out what they would suggest. There are some articles/manual chapters that have some info (have you checked, but usually they recommend asking the temple directly if you have any questions. That’s what I would recommend, since it probably depends on the dress.

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